Was listening to Pandora today and this song came on and caught my attention:

People Look Around
Written by Catie Curtis and Mark Erelli

Mississippi River divides this land in two,
Like the way we tend to think of things;
Black and white, red and blue.
If they can keep us fighting about marriage and God,
There’ll be no one left to notice if the leaders do their jobs.
And the truth is bigger than these drops of rain, falling.
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain,
Falling in the ocean, falling…
When the water is rising and there is no higher ground,
You can wave your hands up on the roof,
But you might be left to drown.
In the streets of New Orleans; a makeshift funeral pall,
Here lies Vera, God help us all.
And the truth is bigger than these drops of rain, falling.
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain,
Falling in the ocean, falling…
Jesus said, “Feed the hungry,” Jesus said “Help the poor,”
“ Take care of each other love one another,”
People look around.
We let them down.
Mississippi River flooded New Orleans,
And we stared in disbelief at our TV screens,
If they can keep us fighting another endless war,
How many tears before the truth cannot be ignored?
And the truth is bigger than these drops of rain, falling.
The truth is bigger than these drops of rain,
Falling in Lake Pontchartrain.
Falling in the ocean, falling…

Well to me this is funny anyway: 

http://www.pvponline.com/2009/11/04/dear-kurt/

I think my favorite part is when he says, "Maybe if you cared enough to actually get my name right, or maybe if you cared about creators like the late, great Mike Wieringo beyond what they can do for you THIS FIVE MINUTES, the entire industry wouldn’t all be anticipating your inevitable bankruptcy."

But this could just be so funny to me because I know too personally how this company screws(ed) people over.

I always want to have a reason to dress up for Halloween, but it seems like most years nothing's happening.  And this year, things were definitely not coming together.  I had wanted to have a party at my place, but we never could manage to get rid of the boxes that are taking up half of the dining room and I simply refuse to try to have a party amongst the mess.  Maybe next year.  In the meantime, no one else seemed to plan anything either. 

And I'd just come to the conclusion that nothing was happening and started to look forward to at least being able to hand out candy for the first time in years.  And then, yesterday, a friend of mine invited me to a party out of the blue. 

So, now I have to try and think of a costume in a week - when they're notoriously sold out and it's a short amount of time to make anything (not like I can actually sew anyway).  Oh man I'm feeling so uncreative right now.

This  really bothers me.  I can't even figure out what kind of sick mind comes up with a list like this.

Oh good lord...thankfully I don't think I'll offend anyone that actually reads this....but I get so annoyed by people misusing homonyms.  Ok, I can almost understand two, to, and too.   And I can see that some people might have a tricky time with their, they're, and there.  But, my god!  How do people use are for our?  How?

I am so sick of the notion that just because someone can write and/or edit well, that it must be some sort of natural gift and therefore doesn't deserve the kind of pay that someone would get for any other work on the planet.  Sure, the people trying to "hire" me can't write, and acknowledge they can't write, well enough to do it themselves, but somehow it's still not something they think deserves pay.  ugh.

Oh no.  Of course just because I can put together a sentence correctly and understand grammar, of course that doesn't take any effort.  

Ugh my mom's family.  And quick note to forgive how rambling and unorganized this post could end up as I'm going to free flow my thoughts out on this.

I just got off the phone with my mom, telling me about how she's going to go to the gay bar for a cousin (actually my cousin's kid, but that's just details) of mine's 21st birthday.  He just so happens to be gay. First person in the family to come out of the closet -- in my opinion anyway.

And then before going back to her planned trip to the gay bar, she mentions that he went to one of my other cousin's weddings last weekend.  And how yet another cousin marched up to him and made a big point of telling him:

"so i hear you're gay?  Well, I just want to let you know that no matter what your lifestyle, you're family and we love you anyway.  I mean, c'mon, are any of us functional, but we accept each other and we accept you too."  

And, ugh.  First of all, I know my mom's family.  This is the same family that back when I was single in high school, one of my aunts called my mother and asked "aren't you afraid that Heidi's gay?"  The same family that begged me to wear a dress to yet a different cousin's (i have a lot) wedding because (as I learned from my mom later) she didn't want me to seem gay or butch at the wedding.  

In fact the cousin that declared this, drunkenly, to my gay cousin was the sister of the bride -- who I'm almost certain had a girlfriend for years and years, but has finally found the "right man."   Seriously, she used to bring the same "friend/roommate" to all the family functions.  They seemed just a little TOO close to be just friends, but everyone insisted that she was just my cousin's friend, and that my cousin had a boyfriend he just lived too far away to ever make it to anything/meet anyone.  

But whatever.  I figure she's either bisexual and felt that her family wouldn't tolerate her relationship with a woman, but now they will embrace her current one with a guy....or she's conforming in which case I'm sad for her. 

Either way, I tried to explain to my mom that for one, the family was cool with him because he didn't bring his boyfriend.  Because I'm certain they would've acted a lot weirder if he'd actually had a guy there with him.  But more to the point, my cousin's acceptance speech came off more like "we're disfunctional so we'll accept your disfunction too" to me.  Or that making a big point of saying it, when no one had ever said anything negative to him, showed that it is a big issue. 

And she couldn't grasp that.

And then I was asking how his dad was going to deal  with a gay bar since he's one of those I'm-so-macho kind of guys that I can picture starting a fist fight if a guy were to mildly hit on him.  And then my mom starts telling me how he's so better.  And how "he says that he accepts his son's lifestyle and his choice because he's still his son." 

His choice?  His lifestyle?

Oh, you're soo accepting that you're still calling it his choice, like he might just one day change his mind and be straight. 

I was like "mom, his lifestyle is pretty much like anyone else's you know.  And it's not choice.  He's been gay since he was born. Did you choose to be straight? "

It's just so irritating.  I watch them all try to fake being accepting and openminded because they don't want to look bad.  But in the meantime, they're not really understanding that it shouldn't even be an issue.  They're not really just caring about the person my cousin is and liking or not liking him for that.  And in the meantime, they think they're being so openminded that they don't even realize how telling some of the things they say are. 

So, my mom's going to go to a gay bar and even though I won't be there to be first-hand embarrassed, I really hope she doesn't act all weird and embarrass my cousin or his boyfriend.  I really hope my stupid cousin (the father of the gay cousin) doesn't do anything dumb or asshole-ish like he's prone to (in general because he's an asshole).  I really hope maybe the experience will open at least my mom's eyes a little more.  To be fair, having me for a daughter, she's already a lot more accepting and understanding and aware than most of my family because I was always so vocal about how stupid stereotyping was and my belief that it's not a choice (and that saying it is is demeaning). 

ugh.  I don't know where I'm going with this.  It just annoyed me.  Amazing how such small words in a sentence can mean so much....and people don't realize that.

I had one of those days that was filled up, but not stressful.  And even though I was exhausted when I went to bed, it was great.

I spent the early part of the day helping my friend Kathleen paint children's faces for a charity fund raiser.  I've done this a few times with her and it's always a mix of fun and frustrating and energizing and tiring and amazing.  I'm by no means a great artist, and the kids through me for a loops every time they ask for the ones I think are hard (like horses).  However, I can do a wonderful all over Spider-man face.  And thanks to one boy asking for it, the additional Spider-man arm was very popular.  My hands are still a little stained red. 

You can always tell which kids are spoiled and which ones arent...and of course you get to see the good parents, the indifferent, the not even around.  I dealt mostly with good kids and parents though.  One lady made a point of telling me about how the local McDonald's has face painting every Tuesday if I want to do that.  Tons of parents said thanks and really meant it, and made sure their kids said thanks...and even gushed about some of the more simple and not-so-fancy drawings. 

There's always a few moments that stick out though.  Fore me there was the guy that said I was the best face painter he'd ever seen after I covered his son in a Spidey face and his daughter in a butterfly mask.  The other for me was that I had another brother and sister come up.  Again, Spider-man, whole face.  Then the little girl sat down and I asked what she'd like and she said, "I want to be Batman."  So I clarified, "You want a mask like Batman."  And she nodded really big, until her mom said, "Why don't we give her something more feminine, don't you want something more pretty?"  And she picked out a butterfly for her daughter, who looked sullen but didn't argue.  She was probably 3 or 4.  It really bothered me.  She's not allowed to want to have a superhero mask because she's a girl? 

But, like I said, most of the people and kids were great.  And it was fun.  I did sustain the weirdest burns ever though.  We put on sunscreen before, but I missed some spots apparently.  So I have a stripe at the base of my hairline (where i didn't rub it high enough), a ring around where my t-shirt collar was, and weird splotches on my wrists and hands.

I also have sore muscles in my back from leaning over in an awkward position all day (and a bruised bottom from the folding metal chair).  It's funny because almost every kid will be excited but as soon as you start painting their face they start to pull away from you and hand their head, forcing some leaning and twisting in awkward positions. 

From there I headed home to change and my friend Kristin picked me up (after I guzzled water and tried not to fall asleep - the sun does a number on me).  We went to meet her friend Vera, who was really cool.  The three of us got salad from a Greek restaurant nearby (that I will now frequent) and had a yummy meal before heading to an art gallery opening that one of Kristin's paintings was a part of. 

The gallery was neat.  As with any art show I liked some stuff a bunch and didn't care for other stuff.  We kept running into people that Kristin or Vera knew.  It was really small worldy.  And a bunch of us went out for drinks (and they ate) afterward. 

that was also fun.  I spent most of the time talking to Vera because she was next to me and I could actually  hear her and because we clicked.  And it was lovely.  But a combination of the sun earlier and sound overload had me ready for bed when I got home and I conked right out.  It would have been the perfect kind of sleep if someone hadn't been banging this morning at 6:30 and woke me up.  But it did compliment a day of just straightening up the house (today) perfectly.

Lately, I've read a bunch of random stories about twitter and celebs and good.  Demi Moore responded to someone's suicide tweet and got tons of people who lived in that area to call the police and it was prevented.  Many celebs point people toward worthwhile causes and encourage them to get involved.  Hugh Jackman is apparently taking it a step further.

He's giving $100,000 to one of the charities that his fans tweet him about.  The responses are kind of amazing too.  One of them says that if the chosen charity needs books, that person can match it 50%.  And it's awesome to see how people describe a charity/need in such a short amount of space. 

I can't bring myself to Twitter.  I just don't want to, but I'm half tempted to just to send along a charity or two...

And of course, could I love Hugh Jackman more now? 

My sister sent me this link.  It makes a pretty strong visual statement about body image.

Just saw a commercial for the movie, The Proposal.  The premise seems a bit ridiculous but I may just have to see it because it has Betty White in it.

Sometimes I just can't even believe that there are people in the world that would make things like this.  (The game, of course, not the site reporting that it was dropped from Amazon).

But I just ....wtf? 

I never ever watch WE (women's entertainment channel), but today I was watching a marathon of a show called "Amazing Wedding Cakes." 

I love how creative and amazing some of the cooking shows I see are.  Also, there is a woman that works at one of the bakeries who was super excited because she got to make blown sugar balls for the cake.  The episode before that, the same woman was giddy about the whole design of a cake she was working on. 

It makes me happy to see that kind of thing.  I love when people really love what they're doing (in their job or their extra curriculas).  I just love when people are passionate.

I don't know what it means when the comic con starts to feel like a class reunion of sorts, but it kind of does.

I pretty much run into people that fit into a few categories:

• people I know and like a whole bunch and would happily spend the whole day with (and either see regularly or not enough)
• people I wish I knew better, but haven't ever had the chance to get to know too well
• people I'm on friendly terms and we make small talk
• people I know through past work or acquaintanceship and don't necessarily like or feel comfortable with but have to make small talk with and keep up some pretense because there are too many connections there
• people I have a peripheral knowledge of and hope to meet eventually
• a bunch of people I don't know (both fans and pros)

All in all it's always a good experience.  However, I noticed that this year the crowds frustrated me more and I continually found myself thinking that they could've set the place up better. I actually went to some panels this year, a first for me.  I didn't get to all of the ones I wanted to, but they were kind of interesting and I think I'll definitely focus a bit more on those in the future. 

I saw a bunch of cool stuff and talked to a bunch of cool people.  Got some free swag and the new Scott Pilgrim book (signed by a very nice Bryan O'Malley) - Awesome!  And now I'm home and tired and all I want to do is sit with my feet up and read. 

Do you ever randomly type in web addresses to see if they exist?  I do.  

Today, just a second ago really, I typed in shrug.com.  Apparently Shrug is a band out of Ohio with a cute setup for a website.  All of the information is on a little TV and it continues to play their music while you click around to different pages.  They list their influences as Pearl Jam and Alice In Chains, but I'm hearing Tom Petty in there too.  

Don't get me wrong, it's not the music that changed my life, but it is a nice, melodic guitar music to have on in.  So check 'em out. 

So if you've seen any celeb gossip mags or websites lately, you've probably seen some sort of picture or coverage of Jessica Simpson's weight gain. 

Apparently, her sister is mad that this is getting coverage and has mentioned it on her blog.

She says, "How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?"

I remember the same kind of argument from Jennifer Love Hewitt when the media started noting her weight gain.  And I have two thoughts on the matter.

One - You cannot be part of the problem and then complain when it comes back to bite you.  Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, other woman like them that have gone through this in the public eye, when at their "peaks" are exactly part of the reason that young girls end up with unrealistic expectations.   We never saw Jessica Simpson or her family/friends complaining when she was getting headlines for her Dukes of Hazard body.  And what's the first thing Jennifer Love Hewitt did when she lost weight again?  She got herself on the cover of a magazine in something skimpy with a headline reading "how she lost the weight?"  Don't make your value almost completely based on your looks and your thin body and then be mad when you gain weight and get criticized for it.

Two - Neither one of these women were ever a size 2.  Even at their smallest, they were not a size 2!!  And Jessica is certainly not a size 2 right now.  And the size 0 that Hollywood touts is virtually non-existent.  If you're so worried about young girls and body image, stop claiming ridiculous clothing sizes.  I've so often seen famous women that are roughly my size claiming that they weigh 20-30 pounds less than I do.  That's not because I'm overweight, that's because they're in an industry in which saying their real weight would sound heavy.  But maybe that's the problem.  Maybe when a teen girl sees a woman saying she weighs 95 pounds and is 5 ft 7 inches and a size 2 or 0, she feels bad because she's so not that size.  But these numbers become something that girls and women focus on. 

I guess that's all I have to say.  No, we shouldn't judge any woman solely on her weight.  But don't be part of the problem and only acknowledge it when it becomes personal.

I just moved.  Finally, I am in a new apartment as of last weekend, surrounded by boxes I'm slowly trying to sort out and put away.  It's amazing how this process can cut you off for a time.

We haven't had the TV or the internet hooked up (until yesterday afternoon) and like I imagine most people nowadays, I don't have a radio.

On Tuesday I headed back to my old home county and voted at a Catholic school that was closed for the day.  As with every time I've voted, I noticed that I was the only person there under 60.  This year there was a brilliant girlscout troop having a bake sale just outside of the voting area.  So, I headed in, pulled the lever, and bought a brownie.  

And then, for the first time since I started voting, I didn't get to watch the results come in.  That was very strange.  I got a call from my sister at about 11:30 just to make sure that I'd heard the official decision (not that I was really worried).  But I have to admit that it was awfully nice when the cable and internet was hooked up to finally get to see the news myself, to see what my friends were saying, to watch the videos of Obama's speech on youtube and generally feel reconnected.  I guess I really am at least to some extent a product of this info-now age.  

I feel good about the election's outcome.  I feel good that I could be a part of it.  I feel good that we will finally be represented again in the world by someone that is articulate and seems to have the good of *everyone* in mind.  I'm proud of the record number of voters this time around and hope that that trend continues in the future.  This election, unlike the last two, has me feeling hopeful instead of dreading the next  four years.

I'm not good at posting regularly, but I'll get an actual post up soon.  In the meantime, check out:

the article I wrote

Watching the local news tonight, I came across this story on CBS.

Apparently, someone won 3 million dollars from the NY State Lottery.  According to the article, the winner gave his or her winning ticket to a local church that decided to share the winnings with local charities.  The news broadcast was a little less specific, but they did say that the owner of the ticket wanted to $100,000 to The Lighthouse Mission.  

The Lighthouse Mission is a charity in Long Island that helps to feed the needy.  They turned down the money because their ministry preaches against gambling.  I didn't get the exact quote, but the pastor basically said that they couldn't continually talk about the evils of gambling and then take gambling money. 

I went back and forth a few times about this in my head, but decided that the pastor made the right decision.  On one hand, I personally don't think that gambling as most people practice it (especially in things like the lottery) will harm anyone.  And the charity could certainly have used that much money, which could've fed a lot more.  (They especially could have used it since the news cast said that they lost some of their backing with their decision and aren't certain of their future).  And there's also the fact that some gambler (a sinner) used his/her earnings in a very charitable way (which is a big plus in most religious beliefs). 

But on the other hand, the group specifically preaches against gambling -- gambling of all forms at that -- as a sin.  It would be hypocritical to take money from a direct sin. 

Religion and religious organizations probably have a tenuous kind of existence.  Part of faith is being able to trust the people you draw your knowledge of your faith from.  And their followers should be able to trust them to be consistent, even when they face temptation.  

So good on them for not being hypocritical...even if it would've helped them to continue to do good things.  That can't be easy.